I spoke to a member in the Adtech Chat Community who said that they once took their negative feelings from a previous job application where they were rejected, into a job where they were accepted. They were not directly connected physically but their mind did not make that difference and still was ‘annoyed’. This impacted the new job role and one of the reasons they left a few months later. Whilst they might have ‘succeeded’ to be offered a job, their state of mind was not in a positive position to focus enough on the new role. The lack of closure did not allow their mind to move on.
Asking ‘why’ is one way to understand how to accept the results. This will lead to your closure. It will help you to avoid taking your emotions into the next day and the next job search.
A good tip is to write it down. You don’t have to go back to your notes but it is one technique:
- · to off load your thoughts outside your mind into reality.
- · to help you to give a rationale response to that email.
- · to move on to your next challenge with closure.
- · to learn from that job application experience, and to take away any useful next steps
- · to realise that it was not as heavy as you thought when you immediately received the news.
Another tip is under the knowledge that your feelings are directly connected to results. The word ‘results’ is a big word – don’t you agree? They cover personal, social, financial and professional themes. Going back to my son’s cricket game and tips, they are trained to focus on the ‘now’. A key tip is to find ways to relax the mind and take on every ball that comes in that moment. They react to the real moment. I am sure also that you see how sport professionals step away to rest their mind and body when their game has been paused. Every stop and start in a game is a good analogy for every sentence you write, every review you read of a job spec, every LinkedIn post you receive or send. If your mind is too focused on your feelings, they can distract your behaviour, as they can do with my son when he is batting.
Look at each job search and experience as a different sport game or match you play.
· Each match will end, either under your control or outside your control from other people.
· You will have a different role playing on the pitch each game, scoring goal, or you are watching on the bench.
· Your performance will change per game – bad, good and ugly.
· You can separate it in your 24-hour day.
When people talk to me, a key is to allow them to understand the role of their mind in any scenario and how to move on with their thoughts. I hope that this has been a useful intro into feelings.
So, here are some tips but note that you mind find your own tips from this article:
· Be aware of your emotions and their impact, but don’t use them as the only way to decide your next steps.
· Give yourself time for your emotions to relax and move on by asking yourself ‘why’ you feel ask you do.
· Separate your job searching into a part of your day, not the whole day. It is a sporting match or practice which is a fixed number of hours in your 24 hour day.
· Write a review, like a campaign report, about your experience.
If you want to have a chat, please do let me know. If I can’t help, I will be honest, human and try to put you in the right direction, like the Adtech brand!
Patrick runs mental programmes to take away stigmas and build resilience: talks, research, podcasts, articles and MHFA England training. You can find and contact him at https://www.melville-solutions.com/